A Christmas Run-down!

I do lament I wasn't able to post some lovely commemorative post regarding Christmas but before I knew it a few days had already passed! There are far more wise and insightful people that wrote lovely lovely things regarding Christmas (One of my favorite "blog reads" is here: The Strangeness of Christ (by author Ryan Duns SJ ) so I thank God I am blessed enough to read and share it! 


An excerpt from this great blog post is the following:

".....My belief about Jesus, put into its simplest form, is that he is God's Love made flesh, Love that is vulnerable, the Love whose effervescent presence emboldens women and men to risk being the persons they are called to be. I believe that Jesus Christ is the act of God's creation made present in human history. I believe that Jesus is the fruit of Mary's "Yes" to God's friendship, that Jesus is the result of humanity's "Yes" to God's "Yes" to humanity. I believe Jesus is simultaneously the Word and Deed of God written into human history. I believe that the sin of humanity reacted - and continues to react - violently to the presence of this Love in our midst and that we killed him. I believe, finally, that the Resurrection shows us the depths of God's love for us, shows us that God's way is one of restoration and life rather than vengeance and death. I believe that we are, as Christians, called to follow the path of the Risen Christ."


Christmas this year was certainly different. Different to be so far from things I hold so dear, different (and difficult) to not see my parents and embrace them, different to not be at my home parish for Midnight Mass, (despite how terribly messy it is every year! But that's its charm!)! But somewhere along the "different" I found myself with a most familiar silence, a most familiar silence of God's presence and goodness, that was not different at all and how glad I was! There is so much more I could say but I am blessed, and I was blessed to have attended a messy Christmas Day Mass with a classmate from college that lasted about 20 minutes, blessed to have been with folks, family, who hadn't spent Christmas with me in 10 years, blessed that He is with us, blessed I know this and blessed I can have the joy in sharing this.


Anyhow, here's a quick Christmas "run-down" in photographs, from past and recent blessings!


Much more writing to come soon! Merry Christmas!

Christmas 2011- My brother Benedict and I

Christmas 2010

Christmas 2009- Little Ms. Gonzalez

Christmas 2008; My empty home parish after Midnight Mass

Christmas 2006- With the great company of some SJ's!

Silly Face

Recent Skype Snapshot-Little Ms. Gonzalez

The little face of this wondrous creature is the one I shall be missing very very much this holiday season! Sure, ask my parents and they'll easily say that even at 13 she's the reason for many of their headaches but I thank God it's all with boundaries that I pray she'll never pass. She is lively, funny, sarcastic, and a very obvious extrovert. In many ways it's as if my parents got opposite personality types with their two girls... but to me that's the most fun!

The Little Bride

As I approached Our Lady of Victories parish (my home parish here) Saturday morning for Mass I noticed a large crowd outside dressed in formal attire. Nearing the small island where this parish is located I considered more than twice driving up a few blocks to a nearby adoration chapel instead of venturing into what celebration this could be, but alas, the strong toll of the bells invited me to Calvary.

Much to my surprise (since I had been expecting a wedding, or quinceañera celebration) I saw a little girl in the middle of the aisle waiting nervously to take her place in the wooden kneeler in front of her. I took a seat and was relieved perhaps a first communion would not take nearly as long as what I had feared other celebrations might. 

The Mass unfolded as normally, and I event felt some guilt in wanting to avoid the the more social aspect I thought it would bring. However somewhere between the Homily and the offering of the gifts a beautiful moment occurred. The priest descended from the altar and asked the girl to walk to the entrance of the church with a white flower he handed her from a vase next to the portrait of Our Lady of Guadalupe. As he handed her the flower he told her this was her wedding day and that she'd be walking down the aisle to meet her bridegroom. The little girl smiled and walked up the church doors, and the organ lady suddenly started playing "Here Comes the Bride" as she walked down the aisle. When she approached the priest he asked where her groom was and why he wasn't there. In a half-giggle the girl pointed at the crucifix and mentioned he was there already. The priest smiled in agreement and asked for her to approach Him then. Obediently the little girl walked up a few steps to the cross and then returned to her kneeler. 

As the priest spoke a bit of this little girl's "marriage", I couldn't help but smile and feel a great peace. I was reminded of the Carmelites in St. Louis I know, of the marriage Mass a cousin had over the summer with her now husband... and I even recalled a bit of my own "little" marriage ten years ago. I also grew enthusiastic that in a few minutes I was meeting the bridegroom. The marriage continued, His love continued, despite tears, doubt, joys, and everything else that had occurred in those 10 years.

My first communion at St. Cecilia's Parish (St. Louis) 2001

"I betrothed you to one spouse, that I might present you a chaste virgin to Christ" (Corinthians 2 11:2)

Happy (Late) Feast Day of Our Lady of Guadalupe!

I really must apologize for not posting this a day before! I absolutely adore this particular feast day! Probably the favorite feast day of yours truly because it's one filled with such strong memories and despite still growing in my relationship with Mary, this feast day brings a very strong connection culturally and family-wise from many years. ANYHOW, here is a "blast from the past" from past celebrations, mainly in St. Louis or nearby towns in IL. Mary Mother of God, pray for us!

Holy Family Parish (IL)-  2006

My humble but loved home parish in St. Louis (2010)

Our Lady of Victories parish, Mexico, 2011

A Child's Face & Gratitude

This rambunctious bunch was my company Saturday morning for Mass and a Christmas presents-giving event and small party. These kids (ages ranging widely, from 3-17, and girls too) come from a home near my parish here in Guadalajara called Instituto Cabañas.Whatever struggles their little hearts have endured, whatever longings they carry due to their broken family structures were forgotten temporarily by the joy of each other and the anticipation for Christmas gifts. Please DO keep these wonderful youngsters in your hearts and prayers!

Truth be told, it was such joy to spend time with these kiddos! These small gentlemen were particularly keen in this photo "shoot". The one to the left in later photos even posed with a pseudo-heavenly posture, hands clasped, his glance heaven-bound! They're an absolute riot!

I've missed a family-like atmosphere! I was grateful to them, for their spontaneity, for their curiosity, for their most simple joy at Mass and enthusiasm for the gifts. Their company was great change of pace from a rather independent/solo schedule of driving to and from school, dinner on the road or home alone, and yet more time alone to finish work for classes.

Speaking about solo time, classes have finished and now only two more projects await next week. First semester of college is nearly to its close! Regardless, with 7 weeks until classes start again I anticipate plenty of freedom to write a lot more on this little corner of the web and further reflection from events past and this "solo" upcoming Christmas away from my parents.

Until Soon!

In Between Lycopodiophyta and Equisetophyta

It's been a much much too long of a break! Again, I don't know who really reads this but despite, I've missed writing here! I have much to write about but right now I can only afford a small 5 minute break, between the two terms listed in the title for an exam in 2 hours, golly how I dislike my Taxonomy course!

I was browsing through an conversation I had nearly two years ago with a dear Dominican friar, now also ordained priest and suddenly all the studying I was doing (or should be doing!) felt it could wait for a bit.


Sadly I don't have much time to give more of a retrospective on it years later but it reminded me a lot of a memory, of a time, that for the me two years ago was much too painful and yet I am impressed at the resilience I express in the e-mail, in the resilience I express amidst the pain. I know most surely that this is all through the grace of God, shown by His love and faithfulness for this undeserving young woman since eternity! More thoughts on this and other things very soon (after this exam! :)) but for now here is the bit:

Written on February 13, 2010

Right now I feel fine. In a sense before there was the facade and it "appeared" that we were just great. We seemed like a pretty happy family unit but we/they were broken a long time ago. It's the change of no longer having that shallow infra-structure and change in routine. The change in whatever image we once portrayed. And there is sadness and pain with that, but I think maybe I long for what I wished it were and not what was. But it's fine because otherwise I wouldn't have this to share with Christ, who knows what this will teach me? I think I still need/want to "mourn" a little bit more because he did just move out Thursday but after that then it's time to start again. It's time to re-build.

A Lesson In My Physics Class

Good-Byes

From an e-mail to two friends days before leaving St. Louis:

Hello my dear A and L,

Okay, one week countdown! It seems so crazy and sometimes, if I think TOO hard about it, it makes me want to cry a little...

Regardless, because of that I really want to make sure that I organize myself well so that I have time to pack, meet with dear friends (like you!), buy a few more things for the voyage (plus figure out this diploma and apostille thing)

Sooo... I was wondering when L got to STL- and when would be the best time/day to grab some coffee or whatever... I do want to make sure I write some sort of farewell card/letter and to do it all with plenty of time and with peace

In the meantime how are you girls doing?!

Peace and Prayers,
Sofia

I can still close my eyes and picture  L and A, of places in St. Louis (or even the U.S.) I know  I would have liked to have seen with them. I still remember the pressure of the "one week countdown", in my mind (and heart) knowing I wasn't quite sure when I would see those things I loved again. I am grateful for trying to rejoice as much as I could those few last months in St. Louis because it forced me to value that much more what was once a routine.  I am grateful today, 7 months later after sending that e-mail, grateful of the richness and growth it has brought, grateful that even if a few years must pass before I can see and touch all that I left, God is blessing each person, making him/her more like His image, or so I pray. And yes, even 7 months later, if I think about it TOO hard I still want to cry a bit...

A Word on Trancendence....

A friend of mine shared with me the video below. It's a simple (and yet beautiful!) clip of a few Dominican friars praying in Washington D.C. the U.S. capital. I had seen this video about a year ago, while still in St. Louis and before actually visiting D.C. myself a few months later.

I was reminded of transcendence in three aspects:

1- The actual beauty of the clip, the solemnity of the instrumentals, the solitary presence of the barren trees in the background, the long black flow of the capuces, the frigid air you can almost feel from simply observing their prayer. The clip has a timelessness, an essence of the depth of prayer and our own solitude, of our own solidarity in prayer, for others, with others.

2-I was reminded of prayer with the Dominicans in St. Louis, of their formation for prayer in the hallway, of their brief chant. I was reminded of snow, of a Thanksgiving reception at their formation house and those same black capuces being present there with the same frigidness as of the clip. I was reminded of a beautiful formality and ritual. A city where a 15-year old Sofia had experienced Gregorian chant with Benedictine monks at a candle-lit All Saints Vigil, where 18-year old Sofia had been blessed to share the anticipation of Christ's arrival in an Easter Vigil with a community of Carmelite sisters shortly before her departure. The video reminded me of a transcendence in my own faith formation in the past and the events in which God had given me obvious consolations and gratitude.

3-I was also reminded that although I appreciated the beauty of the clip, with all of the cinematic aspects that contributed to the sense of transcendence, I recognized a more "raw" transcendence. A raw transcendence in knowing that whatever nostalgia arrived from the clip was truly simply one aspect of the fullness of faith, devotion and truth. I, writing this, am far from the place, culture, climate etc depicted in the video and yet, in the small parish a few blocks away, in the solitude, in the loneliness, lack of structure/formality of religious ceremonies, in the dullness of daily life, in the apparent "disenchantment" I have found a greater honesty with myself. A realization that transcendence is simply an honest desire to relish in God and to be patient enough to allow for it before my own fears/stubbornness/incredibility corrupts that disposition.

Alas, here is the clip, enjoy!

** De Profundis, ("Out of the depths") the title, makes a reference to Psalm 130, and is traditionally sung/prayed when remembering those that have passed away, at least with my experience of prayer with the Dominicans in St. Louis.

Halloween Post

This morning I was looking through some old school documents in my computer and stumbled upon a short story I wrote when I was in 7th grade for a writing contest that had to begin with "As I stretched out my hand the broom came to life...."
Yes, the prompt was amidst the Harry Potter obsession that swept through every public school district in the U.S. and that is perhaps still present.

Regardless, re-reading it made me reminisce on the HUGE enthusiasm I had while writing it (and the delight my 12/13 year-old self  took when winning first place, despite knowing probably only a handful had submitted anything from my class)  and how, at least in that particular middle school, writing was taken seriously and very much encouraged as was reading. Even during my College Credit English class senior year of high school I can't recall reading book after book with such voracity and delight as in 6th and 7th grade. I have no doubt that the experience really formed my character traits of deep curiosity (now expressed majoring in Biology) and reflective/analytical skills. 

So, just for the sake of some Halloween celebration and further reminicing here is a portion of it:

P.S. I've also been doing more reading on JP II's "Love and Responsibility" and C.S. Lewis's "The Four Loves". Both really great works! More to come!

"I followed the woman, which I later discovered was named Abigail. We

walked through the narrow streets of colorless village. In every corner

there were corpses of people, young and old, their dead bodies left with

black scars in their skin from the Black Death.

With each sight of the corpses I grew even more uncomfortable. The smell

of death was now penetrated  my cloak. Yet, Abigail kept walking as if the

corpses were invisible. As if seeing dead people were an everyday thing. I

could not understand this, for Abigail seemed weak, her eyes seemed to pop

out of her thin bony face and a slender body that was covered by the

over-sized cloak. 

We kept walking the narrow streets until we were at its center, there stood

a meetinghouse. Abigail turned to me but her face had no expression and

simply pointed at the meetinghouse. Without hesitation I entered. This room

was dark, with only two small candles lighting it.

          “Hello?” I whispered, my voice shaking from the uncertainty of this

place.

          “Come closer, for I can not see your face.  What’s thy name?” a deep

voice commanded from the back of the room.

          “I am, I am Victoria,” I said trying to hide my fear as I walked to this

strange man.

          Suddenly the door burst open and let some light in. I could now see

the room was much bigger than what appeared from the outside.  There was

a table in back where the strange man sat and rows of chairs in front of it. I

was standing in the aisle between the chairs. It was Abigail, with a paper in

her hands. She walked to the strange man, curtseyed and handed him the paper. 
Then she left the room and left me again in the darkness of the room.

The man quickly read the paper and I could see a smirk beginning to form on

his narrow scrawny face..."

First Halloween in St. Louis-2001

Talk of Old Men......

 

 

My grandparents. L-R: Mom's mom & dad's parents

Today (well Sunday) I spent some time having a meal/day together with my grandparents. To say the least, each of them is quite the character! Often while in St. Louis I thought I had greatly missed out in bonding with them as a child and establishing a more solid relationship and memories with them. Although I can never get those 10 years back I don't think it's too late to find out who these people who raised my parents are. In fact, I hold each of them very near my heart, particularly my grandmothers who both have such brilliant stories regarding faith, sacrifice and marriage.

To write about each of them would take probably a few posts but today, something struck me quite loudly about an understanding between them and the people my parents are. To be more specific something struck me between who my grandfather is and who my dad is now.

My grandfather has never been one to claim religion as something for him. It's something quite obvious for anyone who engages in a conversation with him, even if for only 5 minutes. He is hesitant to use the word "God", instead boasting of the the dependance we ought to have in nature, usually by followed by an encouragement to visit the cabin he owns in a nearby town in the woods. He has been this way all his life, working on the trucking business, seeing his kids grow up on weekends between jobs, never stepping a foot in a church unless forced.It's been a whole life of such mentality and conviction regarding religion, God and the Catholic Church. I write this in no sense to be critical or uncharitable, I love him dearly and God has been so good to us as to allow for his health to be so good at nearly 90.

However, as facts stand I've grown to understand a bit more of the background my dad had growing up. The faith arrived from his mother most surely and he never saw his father take an active role in raising them, or an active role as a faith leader .My father is a wonderful man, however I've seen traces of very active criticism for the Church, and a few times flavors of anti-clericalism growing up. After spending the day with my grandfather my dad's faith journey was really hugely highlighted for me.

Again, this is a much much longer story, already so limited by my perspective of daughter. However, as of recent months, year, my dad has shown initiatives in spiritual growth that never in my life had I seen. Compared with the figure my grandfather is, and even most of uncles, it is that much more beautiful and joyful for me. Today, a few hours after seeing my grandfather and politely smiling as he spoke of priests chasing after girls and other similar "pleasant" comments, I received a phone call from my dad in St. Louis sharing with me his enrollment as a future knight in the first meeting of the Knights of Columbus in my home parish and further discernment and enthusiasm with this group.  I could hardly believe what he was telling me over the phone and yet there is a great great hope in me that he can grow in the openness and change of heart I've heard in the past few months. I can only keep encouraging him through words and prayers; in offering up the sadness it is to not have them with me.

What greater gift could I receive than to be able to witness a few hints of my dad's greater receptiveness and openness to God? Isn't that the whole purpose of a Christian life? To love and be loved by God and to respond in this love...  Praised be God for all of it!

Being at Peace....

From a recent e-mail to a friend in St. Louis:


"My heart always found some consolation that I just had to make it to Christmas until I could taste the sweet familiarity and warmth of all I had unwillingly left behind. I, wrongfully, looked at my future visit to St. Louis as an oasis where I could renew my hopes and energy to once again feel ready to return to a place where I had no friends, little personal history; a place when most of the time I felt I stumbled day to day alone. In other words, my heart and mind was back in St. Louis even if my body was here in Mexico. Hence, as you can imagine, the possibility of knowing I may have to wait another 6 or 8 months (or longer!) when I thought the "finish" line was just around the corner in 2 months wasn't (isn't) easy and yet, by the grace of God, I'm finding a greater disposition and peace to accept however God wishes to embrace me this Christmas time. Perhaps it's under the roof of my childhood parish, embracing my parents and sister at the midnight Christmas Mass we always attend OR perhaps it's during a fall-like day (it's much warmer here remember) here in Mexico, in the company of either my grandmother (who lives alone), or the Beloved, at parish still new and unfamiliar, but with an invitation to further stretch myself in my belief and conviction (and lived experience!)  that all I need is in Him regardless where (and with whom) I am physically that Christmas day Mass.  Do pray for me as I still stumble with my confidence in this acceptance!

I think this hints a bit with where I am right now in adjustments here. Still homesick, with a heavy heart to return to a place that's still very much home and yet with a greater appreciation as to how "launching" into this has made me ever more confident in my both myself and God who I have constantly sought PRECISELY because I have dismissed (and continue!) the fears and doubts that my strength and essence most strongly arrived from others and their help instead of this most essential communication of a whispering kind between myself and the One who first loved me" 

The last place where I shared a lovely lunch/scones with the above mentioned friend in St. Louis.

 

Praying with the Jesuits....

One of the many wonderful gifts given to me by really wonderful people back in St. Louis includes Hearts on Fire; Praying with Jesuits. It had been safely kept in my bedside stand for a few months and today, during the couple of hours between the bus journeys and waiting in a government office I started reading (or rather, praying) this book. I was deeply touched by the poetic-style and the utter sincerity of the many wide-ranging Jesuit authors found here.

Although, ideally, the book is meant to be a companionship during the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius (or through a more scheduled prayer schedule attempting to capture their essence) my reading today was, at best, haphazard and random in its selection.

One prayer that particularly caught my eye (and made me honestly examine these past few weeks) was this:

The First Principle and Foundation 

(near the end of the prayer)

"...In every day then, we must hold ourselves in balance
before all of these created gifts insofar as we have a choice
and are not bound by some obligation.

We should not fix our desires on health or sickness,
wealth or poverty, success or failure, a long life or short one.
For everything has the potential of calling us forth in us
a deeper response to our life in God.

Our only desire and our only one choice should be this:
I want and choose what better leads me
to God's deepening his life in me.

-David Flemming S.J. (former provincial of the Missouri Jesuit province)

My thoughts surrounding why this particular prayer (out of the few I reflected on) caught my eye is really a bit of a longer story in its details but at its essence realizing where my love and relationships with others should head. A reminder for today to re-center those worries and concerns in the promise that all is okay if they're placed near Him.

Peace,

The Inside of a Public Bus here in Guadalajara (Google image)

Fall in Guadalajara

Walking around my neighborhood a few days ago (the first day of October), I saw a street that had just recently planted new Agave plants. I guess they'll still be getting plenty of sunshine throughout October and November. This must mean no beautiful foliage changes this autumn although, as bonus, you could never make tequila from the maples and oaks in St. Louis. ;)

A (Late) Blurb About St. Therese

Okay, Okay, I am about 24 hours late with this post HOWEVER how could I wait another year to ''officially" post on this great saint's feast day?

So for now, we're back to October 1st, not only the start of a great great month (the birthday month of this great woman, month of the rosary, feast day of: St. Francis of Assisi, St. Teresa of Avila, and yes, also the birthday month of yours truly) BUT we get to kick it off remembering an AMAZING young French lady. Needless to say, October is a GREAT month.

I won't write about the biography of St. Therese, for that you can't find multiple sites and her own autobiography (which, I'll admit with guilt I have yet to read though it's one of the multiple books on my shelf), bur rather why I even remember this saint at all.

Although I have yet to read The Story of a Soul I have read another great book called Maurice and Therese: The Story of a Love (the link is a review on it) a few years ago, probably back in middle school or early high school. It was from this read that I first discovered who this great woman was and turned from an icon to a real person filled with as much grandeur and wisdom (I mean, this youngster is a Doctor of the Church!) as with vulnerability and sensitivity.

I was impressed and touched, and although it has been a few years since the read I can still recall feeling a connection with St. Therese at the moment. In this book, a collection of letters between a seminarian and the saint, I found the eagerness to be a little "Therese" for a dear Jesuit seminarian who was helping at my parish. I chuckle a bit now but such goal, for young Sofia, was so genuine, pure and quite zealous!

I, of course, can't think of St. Therese without thinking of countless memories made over a few years with an apostolic community of Carmelites back in St. Louis. They remain so dear in my heart and the icon (and statue) of St. Therese in their recreation room is still the mental image I recall when I think of this great saint.

I pray that I still seek to be a "little" Therese, morphed from my initial new and fresh zealous desire to a more complex understanding of what this saint teaches about faithfulness and deep turmoil. Ah and yet I know I have so much to begin to learn!

Well, happy (late) feast day of St. Therese! St. Therese of the Child Jesus, pray for us!

Peace of Christ,

On Stregth...

My mother. My mother is great. My mother is a great woman, she is the fullness of constancy and sturdiness. My mother is a woman, with all the ties of strength, cleverness, self-sacrifice and many times "bluntness" the word woman can take. She is a powerful thing for her small frame and stature.  She is vibrant and joyful, she is beautiful and reminds ME of what youthfulness, of what happiness is when my sometimes shy, careful, pensive and worried personality impeads this.

Sometimes, particularly back home, I would wonder who again was in her late teens.She has a huge expectation and enthusiasm for things. I am CERTAIN she enjoys a good party/dance (yes, think more like salsa) more than I. I miss her, I miss her greatly.

Her strength amazes me and puts me to shame. In moments I feel so broken and lonely, particularly since the move she is a "commander-like" figure that, in blunt words (she is a sour-sweet mixture), tells me how ungrateful I am being with God, how little I believe in myself and Him while still being humble enough to share her own pains and sadness as an example. Like I said, her strength puts me to shame. Even when I've shared with her dark and sad moments the next day her smile completely lights up the room, never hinting at the turmoil she may have just underwent.

I find a great consolation in the humility that I can learn much from her, and indeed do. I also find consolation in throwing all these worries and weaknesses unto God and Him picking me up as His beloved daughter, well aware of my lack of faith,sadness and fears. None of it matters really.

These two quotes, I believe, do a great job at expressing this sentiment:

Consider all the past as nothing, and say, like David: Now I begin to love my God.
-Saint Francis de Sales

 If we are, in fact, now occupied in good deeds, we should not attribute the strength with which we are doing them to ourselves. We must not count on ourselves, because even if we know what kind of person we are today, we do not know what we will be tomorrow.
-Saint Gregory the Great

Mom and part of the family in a 2009 Chicago Trip-see, look at that smile!

Until Soon! Peace of Christ,

Fears

“If you want to identify me, ask me not where I live, or what I like to eat, or how I comb my hair, but ask me what I am living for, in detail, ask me what I think is keeping me from living fully for the thing I want to live for.”- Thomas Merton


I have been a great fan of Merton for years now. I have read a book of his and his autobiography sits enticingly in my bookshelf in my room (as many other other wonderful books, many are gifts from dear folks! Mm.. maybe blog worthy for later). These past few days a few long term fears (and not so long terms fears) have been presented and even now I sit and wonder without many answers. Partly due to the busy-ness of the week, and long long journeys by bus to school (car broke down), limiting how much or how attentive I have been during prayer.

I could ramble on and on about the specifics but whoever, if there there is indeed audience, wouldn't want to read about that! In summary, in short-term plans I am fear of not seeing my family this Christmas. I am fearful I won't get to speak to a few people (in person) that I have been longing to do for months back. And then, in summary, I am fearful perhaps in all of it I still find a big part of my heart in a place that's so far away and the simple thought I won't get to at least touch/feel/kiss this part of my "heart", even if only for a short visit,brings such pain.

I also fear what this quote is demanding, mainly because I am not entirely certain on what the specifics (or even the basic outline) of what "fully" living would be in the future. What am I living for? How will this be manifested in the future? Surely, I am certain I am living to become Love, and to be best loved by the Beloved and to bring others to that. But this is close a parallel in saying organic molecules have carbon. It doesn't much tell you anything except they're organic and viable to become life. They could be a lipid or a nucleic acid for all I know, extremely different in their purpose and structure but all have carbon. Anyhow, for now, I hope you invisible readers can perhaps find a bit more to the quote than a definition of Organic Chemistry. Until Soon!

Peace of Christ,

A Small Blurb About Meeting the Trinitarians of Mary

Monastery Facade in Guadalajara

The simple entrance above would not hint at a monastery to me, and in fact did not. My meeting with this amazing group of religious was certainly not accidental and yet somehow God-sent. I'll try to be brief as to how I met this group to have a fair amount of time to ramble about how great they are.

Well, it all started with a blog... yes, a blog! Their blog? Nope! I've been a fairly avid blog reader since a few years ago and I came across a blog (that no longer exists) about a woman discerning religious life in California. In one of the many posts this woman posted about another young lady, of only 18, who was entering the Nashville Dominicans (U.S. Congregation) from her parish later that year. I then contacted this young woman, through e-mail and facebook. Her vocation story was really quite lovely and the correspondence in the few months prior to entering was absolutely enriching, and so we continued our correspondence, now through letters to the convent, during my time in St. Louis. Earlier this year, during my participation in the Washington D.C. Pro-life march in an absolutely amazing circumstance (I won't write that story now since it would only make this longer!) I was able to meet her, after months of correspondence, for the first time.

This postulant (now novice I assume) had met the sisters near her hometown in California and in great joy and enthusiasm told me about the community that was also in Mexico, near the border. I kindly told her that Guadalajara was really far away from the border. Returning from D.C. I looked up these sisters and saw that besides the community near the border these sisters just so happened to be located exactly in the heart of Guadalajara. That's it, just two locations in all of Mexico and coincidentally I was traveling to them. The rest is history and to be saved for later! I must however mentioned how incredibly hospitable they are, in my first visit the whole gang gathered around for conversation for an hour and would not let me leave until they brought dinner to me!

Alas, that's bit of the Trinitarians of Mary. Their site is here (although for the past day or so it has been having a few troubles fyi) but rest assured I shall be blogging of them soon enough!

Peace of Christ,

Love and Responsibility

 

Yes, I know i haven't been around lately. I do apologize! School was little crazy this past week!  However, for fun news before I finish up a few blog drafts (yes, I had been writing in the week! Like a true blogger.... well, almost) is the acquisition of this book-->Pope John Paul the II's Love and Responsibility I do thank the Trinitarians of Mary (more on them on later posts) for the lend and look forward to the read!

Until Soon! 

Peace of Christ,

A Change of Pace

Driving home today from school I noticed how different the mere fact I was driving home at night was. It hit me that I was in a city completely different than one I had known for most of my life and that coming "home" to the apartment no one would really be there expecting me (my brother, my apartment-mate, tends to be a busy guy). It was odd, odd to think so relatively quickly I had gone from walking to my high school, of having my parents around every day, of cooking dinner for the family, of Cross-Country meets, of a greater accountability and sense of responsibility, of greater "strings"/attachments, a time of a fairly good amount of structure.


Driving home, and perhaps it was those bright stop lights and some traffic on the way, reminded me ever more of this pilgrimage. I had no idea how this young girl, scared to death of change, was now coming home, just a dark apartment waiting for her (and maybe some ready-to make rice). It felt extremely out of place from what had been before, of what had been always, and ever more lonely and independent than that I would have ever planned or expected.

"God approaches our minds by receding from them. We can never fully know Him if we think of Him as an object of capture, to be fenced in by the enclosure of our own ideas. We know Him better after our minds have let Him go. 


The Lord travels in all directions at once. The Lord arrives from all directions at once. Wherever we are, we find that He has just departed. Wherever we go, we discover that He has just arrived before us.


Our rest can be neither in the beginning of this pursuit, nor in the pursuit itself, nor in its apparent end. For the true end, which is Heaven, is an end without end. It is a totally new dimension, in which we come to rest in the secret that He must arrive at the moment of His departure; His arrival is at every moment and His departure is not fixed in time." 


-Thomas Merton No Man is an Island

Peace of Christ,

"Oh, are you a real Catholic?"

This was the start of a conversation that unfolded today when I picked up a classmate to go to university.

At first I was bit puzzled by his question. I had heard the question "Are you a Catholic?" plenty in high school but I hadn't quite pondered the difference between "Catholic" and "real Catholic". After a few seconds of not answering, he let go of the rosary hanging on my rear-view mirror and continued, "I mean, do you actually believe and go to Mass every week? Or are like most young people that really don't care?"

"Oh," I replied still thinking over the question. I glanced quickly to the side and noticed him staring blankly at the road before us and before I could answer more he continued.

"You know, it's so rare to find people that actually believe anymore.  People that's actually their decision and will and their desire to be Catholic," he wistfully ended.

I left his question unattended until after classes. On the way back a few Gregorian chants from a CD that a dear Dominican friar gave me started playing from my iPod and he joyfully chimed in about the history of Gregorian chant, and its unique 4-note simplicity.

"So you do actually go to Mass?", he asked again.

"Yes, I got at least once a week, and now with afternoon classes I could even go daily if I wanted", I replied with a sincere smile.

"Great, yeah, I usually go about 4 times a week," he answered nonchalantly yet joyfully.

I thought more about his question when I got home. Part of me felt saddened that he thought so few  young people practiced their faith, even if I didn't doubt that was true. However, on that same "sadness" I also realized what great grace this 21-year old held, regardless of the seeming "absence" of others in faith what he believed he adored, and thus it was a most joyful treasure for him and it only took a few minutes to notice this for me.

After further reflection I also began to understand a bit why the separation between "Catholic" and "real Catholic".. or at least this is my own hypothesis on it. I suppose, Mexico, and Guadalajara in particularly, is an extremely extremely "Catholic" city. In the sense that historically, and culturally, it's infused with Catholicism. There are parishes about every 3 blocks, and, particularly downtown, shrines that are across the street from each other. In a sense, it would a shock to not be Catholic, and yet, even amidst this obvious "Catholicity" the reality is its opposite for it's that much easier to neglect and ignore when you no longer recognize the value in what has been around for so long. So yes, I could see how "Are you a real Catholic?" was a very valid question, and, if taken a step further, it really questions upon the faithfulness of our own discipleship. Had this young man meant the latter I am sure I would of had a harder time with my answer.

College life makes me want to do this....

 

I don't think there is anyone following this (blog) anyhow, but just in case there were ghost readers, or even if simply for myself... sorry for the delay! I look forward to writing and thinking about things not Chemistry or Physics related this weekend! In the meantime, praise be to God it's nearly Friday! 

Greetings!

 (At my brother's high school graduation-May 2004)

I pray that this entry finds you all well! I am COMPLETELY new to blogging (but not to writing!) of any sorts so I hope you'll be patient with me! I now find myself in a completely different nation and within a few days at the start of college years venturing into the field of Biology! The purpose of this space is for it to be a creative yet useful outlet for me and for whomever God allows to encounter this! I certainly won't be doing any sort of reflective and creative writing/discussion in school anymore so this blog is born from the desire to continue this!

A quote that I saw a few months ago and relates to what I desire the heart of this space to be ( props to  www.mysteryandmanners.net for first allowing me to read this) is the following:

"When a book leaves your hands, it belongs to God. He may use it to save a few souls or to try a few others, but I think that for the writer to worry is to take over God's business."

--Flannery O'Connor

So welcome! Enjoy! And please feel completely free to comment and join in with me in this pilgrimage!